An Anthem for Coronavirus

As coronavirus sweeps the world and people run out panic buying toilet paper for an illness that will make them cough and not shit, I have largely been watching on with some bemusement.  The widescale paranoia and the complete selfishness makes me wonder if we do not actually deserve it.  I am old enough to remember a different world.  My Grandparents, only two generations removed from me, survived a war by coming together and helping their neighbors, and here we are 75 years on, in an age when grown adults have fistfights over toilet rolls.  Something somewhere has gone badly wrong in the evolution of humanity, and what made us great and unique has fallen away and left behind a more primitive way of thinking.  The truth is that if people genuinely did care about each other they would be looking out for the vulnerable members of our society rather than themselves.

After eight years, Existence Is Futile has finally gone out of print circulation.  It is a decision I have not taken lightly.  It will continue to be available as an ebook.  In the meantime, I am considering a second edition in the future, for the simple reason that I love the story and it would give me an opportunity to honor it in the way Professor Henry Tomlinson deserves.

I hope to be publishing a concept book later in the year.  I know that normally someone should write at least five books before they disappear far enough up their own arseholes before trying to share some self-indulgent nonsense, however, I have decided to jump ahead and do something that pleases me for the simple reason that life is short and we will all be dead soon.

My former band YU recently released a new music video entitled ‘Bang Bang’.  By all means, take a look here,

Speaking of YU, the singer Kuba was recently on a television show in Poland.  As always, he was delightfully eccentric and made quite an unexpected choice of song…

Just the other day I was idling between the news on television with its constant sense of impending death whilst scrolling through Twitter and reading about the forthcoming apocalypse when it occurred to me that I had likely written the perfect anthem for the coronavirus epidemic some years ago.  It is poignant, accurate, and holds a poetic truth.  Enjoy.

Until next time.

 

 

 

A Commemorative Poem For Saint Donald’s Day

The sadness of footsteps that beat out a tune,

The knowledge that death comes to all that’s in bloom,

The relief of raindrops that bring hope for change,

The kinship of laughter that says we’re all strange.

We’re are all fucked every one of us,

We’re all gonna die,

We are all dead, dead as dodos,

And we don’t know why,

We are all fucked; lifeless corpses,

We are alive; alive and useless,

And we don’t know why.

The feeling that burns you when you lay down to sleep,

The tissue that holds you when you sit down and weep,

Your office and laptop that gives you your wage,

Your daydreams are violent they withhold your rage.

Text from ‘We Are All Fucked’ by Yu

published by Agora 2016

Summer Loving

As you might know, I live in the Netherlands, and therefore no longer experience summer.  Mostly here, Dutch people spend the middle of the year weeping uncontrollably as Hollywood repeatedly plays with their emotions by pretending that other countries have four seasons instead of just wet.  Thankfully there are summer holidays.  In the modern age this is where people fly thousands of miles to lay somewhere in sunshine whilst reading, in the hope of getting sunburned, dehydrated and some form of local food poisoning.  If you are one of those people, you may be interested in what comes next.

The good folks at #Smashwords have launched their summer sale and you have exactly one month to take advantage of their generosity, providing you are an eBook reader.  They are offering:

Existence Is Futile for half price

The Story of Albert Ross for free

Go get them now!

And just in case you live under a rock and for some reason haven’t seen the new music video from my band #Yu, you should definitely watch this video.  The lyrics, the music and the video was all created by us, which is #Yu and not only me #GodDoesntLoveYou

 

Go And Play With Yourself

Recently I have been crossing borders like Arnold Schwarzenegger crossed enemies back in the 1980’s.  With the #Brexit referendum on the horizon it is somewhat frightening how many of us are facing a very real risk of losing the ability to cross Europe as and when we require.  Thousands of international couples may well have their lives indubitably altered for the sake of justifying a slow-burning economic meltdown.  It seems to escape the sphere of public debate that many couples and even families will face great difficulties regarding merely staying together should the people of Britain choose to #Brexit.  I fear that there is a realistic chance that we will be the silent victims of the madness to come.

I traveled to Poland with just my dog by car for the first time.  Twelve hours on the open road with zero conversation, an iPod blasting away, with music old and new, does somehow offer one a great deal of time to think.  The conclusions that appeared to me on the journey have formed the basis of a new project, which 10,000 words in, is looking like it could well become a novella at the very least.  The premise is thus: What if we are entirely and absolutely incorrect regarding the way we humans tend to measure our lives?

In Warsaw I bore witness to the growth of our music project.  Our album #WeAreSorry is in numerous shops.  The band have been on national television and radio and have recorded dozens of interviews to promote the record.  It made me a little sad to realise how much I am missing out due to mere geography.  #Yu also played a concert on a boat, which was very much like a concert on land, except it was on water, which is some degree wetter.  There was singing and dancing and bad sweaters.  It was like the worst rave of the eighties all over again.

I was lucky enough to spend a week in the big apple, which isn’t that big, and definitely isn’t an apple, but is, in fact, a phenomenal city.  I have no idea whether New York really is the city that never sleeps as for at least part of our trip, we slept.  To be fair our sleep was well deserved as we walked in excess of 140 kilometers around Manhattan as we explored it like we were aliens, legal aliens.  New York was everything Hollywood doesn’t warn you about.  The various districts had different edges that made each unique, the people were universally friendly and charming and all in all we had a wonderful time.  It genuinely felt like all it took to become the King of New York was one hundred dollars in your pocket and a single evening.

Oh I nearly forgot.  I am writing this post from #Warsaw because we have a new video to promote our song entitled ‘God Doesn’t Love You’.  Despite the religious title it has somewhat strangely caused a great deal of consternation regarding the sexuality of Hitler.  If that sounds odd you should probably watch it right now:

If you like the video or the song or both or neither please SHARE this video and help spread the message of this song.

P.S.  Soon #Yu really will be able to play with yourself as #GodDoesntLoveYou is going to be released as a standalone video game.  I will share the details when I have them.

P.P.S. #GodDoesntLoveYou

P.P.P.S. #WeAreSorry