#PiSlamistan is Here

In support of #BlackMonday the biggest social protest in the recent history of Poland I am releasing a novelette entitled #PiSlamistan for absolutely bugger all.

To show my solidarity with the thousands of women that are demonstrating for the right to decide the fate of their own bodies I’ve written a short satire with the intention of raising a few very important questions.

Onwards to the unveiling:

pislamistan_cover_full

 

#Pislamistan is available in a number of ways:

You can get a number of ebook formats from Smashwords

A PDF from Goodreads

You can read it in your browser on Wattpad 

And download the file directly from FileDropper

*is now available directly from iTunes

Scribd subscribers click here

Nook Readers can get it via Barnes & Noble

If  you happen to like what you read, please share it and help raise awareness of the #CzarnyProtest #BlackProtest

Feel free to tweet me @ScottPoland pictures of yourselves reading this story with the hashtags #CzarnyProtest and #PiSlamistan

The cover image was created in cooperation with the fantastic young Polish photographer Maciek Wojciechowski.  Feel free to tweet him some love @MaciekWojciech  and check out his awesome work at maciekwojciechowski.com/

#CzarnyProtest #BlackProtest #CzarnyPoniedziałek #BlackMonday

Brexit and the Santa Clause

Seldom in my life have I witnessed a social event as cataclysmic as the #Brexit.  In every day life very little has changed.  Life goes on as normal.  And yet the moralistic puritanical outrage that has been released by a vote that has, at this time of writing, changed absolutely nothing, has bordered upon the fanatical and been nothing short of absurd.

The idiosyncrasies of such behaviour are evident. This referendum brought the highest voter turnout in a quarter of a century. Over 2 million people who never vote found the ballot box.  Suddenly people were talking, reading and arguing about politics.  They were interested again. If this were any other social issue people would be celebrating this event as a hugely important moment in history.  Instead it has become a bitter, banal argument where 2 million people have forged a petition to try to get the votes of some 17 million people disregarded in a crass demonstration of contemptible arrogance that can be at best described as lamentable ignorance

This preponderance of abject denialism is reminiscent of a child first learning that Santa Claus does not exist.  Even though on some level they recognise that what they are hearing is right, their heart won’t allow them to rationalise their world view into a position that fits outside of their logic.

Recently I found myself in a discussion with someone I shall name ‘Remain Roger’.  Roger has a degree in economics and works in London.  Whilst conversing upon the stupidity of a nonsensical petition he accused me of voting leave on account of my continued defense of the referendum result.  I am a British citizen, a resident of the Netherlands, I have a Polish wife, sell records in Poland, books in the UK and pay tax in the Netherlands.  If you knew those things about someone how do you suppose they would vote?  SANTA IS REAL SANTA IS REAL SANTA IS REAL SANTA IS REAL!!!!!!!!!!

Now recently ‘Remain Roger’ is in a state of despair, whether it is due to the extra workload caused by working in an industry dedicated to propagating impossible rumor, or domestic problems of sorts, I don’t know.  What is clear is that his inability to comprehend that people are capable of independent thought has rendered him impotent.  Poor Roger has started suffering from rage syndrome, lashing out all over the internet about all manner of topics, including more recently a joke meme about the youth that voted remain playing Pokemon.  Perhaps this should have served as a warning.  However, as a keen bipartisan cultural anthropologist of sorts I was keen to engage Roger.  Sadly, Roger lost his temper.

Roger

This felt somewhat awkward given that 1. It started with a Pokemon joke.  2.  Social media means that everybody knows exactly what you have been doing since you left school 3. What the fuck has any of this to do with 1 or 2.  It was the umpteenth example of fallacious reasoning from what I thought was a very well-developed mind.  Oh and number 4.

Fallacious reasoning is defined by Wikipedia as:

A fallacy is the use of invalid or otherwise faulty reasoning, or “wrong moves”[1] in the construction of an argument.[2][3] A fallacious argument may be deceptive by appearing to be better than it really is. Some fallacies are committed intentionally to manipulate or persuade by deception, while others are committed unintentionally due to carelessness or ignorance. Lawyers acknowledge that the extent to which an argument is sound or unsound depends on the context in which the argument is made

A perfect example of a fallacious construct is the statement ‘The Brexit is a mistake’.  In its most exact sense, there is no way you can possible argue that seventeen million people inadvertently ticked the wrong box.  Nor can it be a concluding opinion, as there is no way, short of using a time machine to prove that the statement itself is evidential in nature.  Every single political campaign is a shitstorm of fallacious charts and statistics intended to frame facts in a manner to support an argument.  To believe that either side of a political campaign are morally superior returns us to the Santa Claus analogy.

It has occurred to me that the reason the #Brexit has proven to be so divisive is a direct result of ideological bias.  The real reason why the result appears so shocking to people is that we have been an irreligious nation for generations, our politics abandoned the working class decades ago and we have had very little to blindly argue about other than football. We have lost the ability to articulate intelligently, to conduct discourse in a manner befitting of intelligent adults, and worst of all we have lost sight of ourselves.  Once again we find ourselves an ideologically challenged nation, faced with an uncertain future, a future decided by the majority of us.

What matters now is that we abandon ‘the Santa Clause’.  That we stop assuming that belief equates to truth.  It is a vile notion aflame in the weakest of minds.  It is the fuel to scores of conflicts throughout the history of man.  The fact is belief bears no relation to truth, and is actually the twin brother of ignorance.

 

 

Summer Loving

As you might know, I live in the Netherlands, and therefore no longer experience summer.  Mostly here, Dutch people spend the middle of the year weeping uncontrollably as Hollywood repeatedly plays with their emotions by pretending that other countries have four seasons instead of just wet.  Thankfully there are summer holidays.  In the modern age this is where people fly thousands of miles to lay somewhere in sunshine whilst reading, in the hope of getting sunburned, dehydrated and some form of local food poisoning.  If you are one of those people, you may be interested in what comes next.

The good folks at #Smashwords have launched their summer sale and you have exactly one month to take advantage of their generosity, providing you are an eBook reader.  They are offering:

Existence Is Futile for half price

The Story of Albert Ross for free

Go get them now!

And just in case you live under a rock and for some reason haven’t seen the new music video from my band #Yu, you should definitely watch this video.  The lyrics, the music and the video was all created by us, which is #Yu and not only me #GodDoesntLoveYou

 

We Are Sorry

Yucover

It’s with great pleasure that I can finally announce the release of our album on May the 6th 2016.  The album entitled ‘We Are Sorry’ is guaranteed to be a massive hit, so don’t miss your chance to immerse yourself in the glorious sounds of Spandau Synthpop.

In the meantime, before you run off to preorder the album, here is a short video which really gets to the heart of what we have tried to achieve with ‘We Are Sorry’.  Take a look…

 

Beavers and Podcasts

First, here is the news.  Sometime ago I was sitting up late on Facebook, and occupying myself with human interaction.  I am aware that the primary function of Facebook is to stay in touch with people you never meet or speak with, without ever speaking to them.  In essence, it is a tool which enables us to stalk ghosts from our respective pasts.  mattAnyhow I like to break taboos.  Where was I?  I was conversing, or is it Facebooking, or Facewriting with an English comedian I met sometime ago at a gig in Warsaw by the name of Matt Price.  We got to talking about a new project he has become involved in, namely ‘Natural Born Storytellers’.  The simple principle of these evenings is that each event has a given theme, and every single person in the place is invited to share a story.  I absolutely love the idea.  After all, a writer has to love a story.  Whilst we chatted about the demise of spoken stories, and the depressing culture which has replaced it, I couldn’t help but whine that it was impossible to for me to participate.  Matt was quick to offer me the opportunity to do so by emailing him by story.  Quite incredibly, not only did he read it, but he passed it on to somebody else too.

A few days later I was invited by another comedian, Mr Rob Heeney to record an episode for his podcast entitled ‘People PeopleWith Stories’.  I was apprehensive at first as the idea of actually telling the story was quite intimidating.  After giving it careful consideration, and listening to a number of his podcasts I decided to give it a go.  Within a week I recorded my episode over Skype.  And I can happily say that today I saw my face on the ‘People With Stories’ coming soon photo album.  As soon as the podcast is released I will post something here.

In the meantime I am slowly trying to get myself organised and finish the next edit of my forthcoming book. Admittedly, today I got somewhat distracted by an incident involving Justin Bieber and a beaver.  You can read about the whole thing on Storify.

Whilst you wait for the release of the podcast, why not check out some of the following –

Matt Price official Facebook page

My favourite Matt Price YouTube video

‘People With Stories’ Facebook page

Why not listen to a ‘People With Stories’ podcast or two (Why not start with Matt’s?)

Justin Beavergate

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