In a Bit of a Pickle

Some rather interesting news….

The gloriously absurd magazine Pickle Fork has published ‘The Non-stop Dancer’.  If you haven’t yet read it yet you ought to be ashamed.  Head over to Pickle Fork by clicking on this link and immerse yourself in the glory of spellbounding absurdity.

In the meantime I’m having a productive month and have been submitting more than Hulk Hogan.  Be good and wear trousers.  Until next time.

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Character Development

I am currently completing a screenwriting course with FutureLearn and the University of East Anglia.  They asked us to post our coursework for one exercise on our personal blogs.  You will be pleased to know that Hollywood hasn’t changed me.

The exercise requires us to post an outline to a character, as I have chosen to create a new screenplay, I shall merely let you guess precisely what the story is about.

By all means share your thoughts in the comments below.

List the characters main actions.  Start from the end of the film and work backwards.

SHITS HIMSELF

GETS HIS GUN

GETS ANGRY

TRIES TO SHIT

STOPS HIS TRUCK

HAS AN ARGUMENT

VISITS DOCTOR

HAS A SHIT

 

List the characters wants and needs.

He both wants and needs a shit

He needs medical help

He needs anger management classes

 

Describe the characters self opinion.

He thinks God hates him

He is just trying to survive

He is short-tempered

 

Describe how others see him

He is uneducated

He is tired

He is a miserable prick

He is arrogant

 

List any important physical characteristics

He is rarely shaven

He has panda eyes

He is underweight

He waddles quickly, like someone in need of a shit.

 

The Fascist Demonstrations in Warsaw

I was recently invited back to appear on Level Talk with John Harrison to talk about the fascist demonstrations in Warsaw.  As someone who lived through ‘International Stay at Home Day’ in Warsaw, and who personally experienced abuse from fascists in Warsaw, I found it impossible to refuse.

Enjoy

You can listen right here

Listen to my Radio Debut

As promised(1 day early) here is a link to my appearance on Level Talk with John Harrison, discussing all things Poland, just click on the picture below….

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Radio Gaga

Last weekend I was invited to appear on a radio show entitled ‘Level Talk with John Harrison’ to talk about recent events in Poland.  As a rule I largely avoid public appearances in any shape or form, however, felt compelled to accept this invitation.

Recent events in Poland are gravely worrying.  In the last week Amnesty International have published a report on the illegal arrest, assault, surveillance and monitoring of anti-government protestors.  Human Rights Watch have published a 37 page report on the ‘rule of law and human rights under attack in Poland’.  Each week that passes only emboldens the government to stretch the limits of the law further and further.

At this point every single person that loves or has a reason to love Poland has to ask themselves two simple questions.  If not you then who?  If not now then when?  That’s why I decided to accept the invitation.  If nobody is interested in what is happening in Poland it is down to us to start the conversation and make it loud enough so we cannot be ignored.

This afternoon I recorded the show with John Harrison, and a charming bubbly lawyer who will one day be the next Mrs Jagger.  It will be released on Friday evening.  Check back here then for the details.

‘Adversity is a call to action, and your freedom lies in taking the first step.  Don’t worry about the entire staircase, just take one step, and then tomorrow take another.’

– Kriss Carr

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