Today is the last day of the Christmas trilogy, otherwise known as Boxing Day. For you Continentals not familiar with island practices, tradition dictates that on Boxing Day you must have a boxing match with the first person you see after leaving the house. This morning was quite unfortunate for my Mum’s elderly 84-year-old neighbour, Alice. However I am pleased to report that I knocked her out late in the seventh round.
I know what some of you may be thinking. What an absurd tradition! And you would indeed be right. By and large traditions are absolute nonsense, and what makes them even more amusing is the fact that some people still cling onto them. Christmas Day is a fine example. If you ask people what we celebrate on Christmas Day, most of them will point to the fact that it’s the day Jesus Christ was born. And they would be completely correct in their thinking if it wasn’t for the fact that they are completely and utterly wrong. Jesus was actually born in April. Historically December 25th is actually a Pagan holiday.
This year I spent the 25th searching for the spirit of Christmas. What I can safely say, is that it was definitely not Tequila, Vodka, Whisky or Brandy. If the television is to be believed, the spirit of Christmas is ‘giving’. Sadly the vast majority of people believe that ‘giving’ is the responsibility of Santa Claus. And they would be completely correct in their thinking if it wasn’t for the fact that they are wrong. On my home island it’s about a visit from Father Christmas, and believe it or not, they are not the same person.
The point I am trying to make is that tradition is whatever you decide it is. If you want to spend every New Years Eve naked, standing in a cardboard box, wearing a lampshade on your head whilst singing ‘Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’ that is a matter for you, and you only. Just don’t expect anyone else to join you, after all, one man’s tradition is another man’s laughing matter.