I’ve been quieter than a mouse trying to suppress a fart as it sneaks past a sleeping cat. There are a myriad of uninteresting reasons for that and strangely none of them involve a potato. Alas I am the bearer of some tidings.
For all of you buggers that read eBooks of an electronic variety and are off to lounge around the pool for a week or two sipping cocktails with the sole intention of coming back the colour of the average Essex girl in mid November, you can find practically my entire back catalogue for free throughout July right here on Smashwords. That’s the Non-stop Dancer, PiSlamistan, Mia, All Hallows’ Eve, Existence Is Futile and the Story of Albert Ross absolutely free to your eReaders. If you don’t do eBooks but know somebody who does share this good news. And if you or anyone you know happens to give them a try, please don’t forget to leave a review somewhere or God will quite probably kill a kitten.
In other news, rather unlike me, I have actually been writing. Book number three is well underway and features high commerce, gratuitous sex and mildly depressed fruit. It is quite obviously somewhat a niche market, however, I believe that if the world has a place for dinosaur erotica, I’m going to be just fine. In the meantime, be nice to each other and read books.
As you might know, I live in the Netherlands, and therefore no longer experience summer. Mostly here, Dutch people spend the middle of the year weeping uncontrollably as Hollywood repeatedly plays with their emotions by pretending that other countries have four seasons instead of just wet. Thankfully there are summer holidays. In the modern age this is where people fly thousands of miles to lay somewhere in sunshine whilst reading, in the hope of getting sunburned, dehydrated and some form of local food poisoning. If you are one of those people, you may be interested in what comes next.
The good folks at #Smashwords have launched their summer sale and you have exactly one month to take advantage of their generosity, providing you are an eBook reader. They are offering:
Existence Is Futile for half price
The Story of Albert Ross for free
Go get them now!
And just in case you live under a rock and for some reason haven’t seen the new music video from my band #Yu, you should definitely watch this video. The lyrics, the music and the video was all created by us, which is #Yu and not only me #GodDoesntLoveYou
This is just a quick post to thank everyone that has downloaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve‘ from Smashwords.com. I am absolutely delighted to announce that we have passed 100 downloads, and in my opinion that calls for a small celebration.
As a thank you to all you lovely people who have downloaded my short story I want to keep my twitter based promise and announce a giveaway. For the remainder of this weekend I shall be giving my other work away for the grand total of fuck all via smashwords.com. It’s pretty simple if you have already downloaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve‘ for nothing. Log into Smashwords, add ‘Existence Is Futile‘ and ‘The Story of Albert Ross‘ to your basket. When you get to the checkout enter the following coupon codes:
To get ‘Existence Is Futile‘ absolutely free enter coupon code ‘YP94P’
To get ‘The Story of Albert Ross‘ for nothing enter coupon code ‘EC23M’
In return I ask one thing and one thing only. If you enjoy any of the things which I have written please leave a review on their respective pages on Goodreads.com, after all it’s your reviews that might persuade people to take a risk on me.
When my mother suggested that I try to write a costume drama, I don’t think she meant a short story about three men in fancy-dress at a Halloween party. Therefore I suspect she may not enjoy my new short story, entitled ‘All Hallows’ Eve’.
Recently I realised that I haven’t written anything new in bloody ages, so I decided to commemorate a year since ‘Existence Is Futile’ hit people’s bookshelves by writing a short story to publish and give away for free. The trouble is, giving away things for free is not that easy anymore. The likes of Amazon, and Apple do not allow independent writers to publish their work for free. In fact it massively limits your ability to reach readers. When I first wrote ‘The Story of Albert Ross’ I had hoped to do the same. In the end I decided to put it our for the absolute minimum to enable the story to get the widest possible availability. This time, I really want to do this as a thank you to all of you wonderful people out there that have volunteered your own time to read something with my name on. It means a lot, but mostly it means that you are awesome.
To celebrate the forthcoming release of ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ I would like to… drumroll please… present the cover which will be appearing all over the internets very soon
I don’t have a release date yet, so you will have to keep checking back here. I hope to have a final version uploaded to smashwords.com by the end of the week. It will be free, although you will need to sign up for an account, if you haven’t already. And for those of you that haven’t yet picked up ‘Existence Is Futile’, I have some good news. I have added the first few chapters to the end of this short story as a sample, in the hope that I can yet persuade you to invest in a book featuring ninjas and absolutely no jokes about toilets.
Recently, I finally got to see the band I’ve been writing for play live. If their debut gig was anything to go by I am very optimistic about the future. It also gave me a chance to meet the rest of the band and learn of their plans. Regarding the album I have been working on, the bad news is that it won’t be recorded until summer. The good news is that it looks as if I will have three more songs to write. They plan to launch the album in autumn, so we have quite a wait ahead of us.
In the meantime I am beavering away on my next novel. I am probably 40% done. Editing is a lonely, thankless task which I am particularly slow and not particularly meticulous at. I can’t wait to finish this part. Next I shall pass it on to a very good friend of mine who worked on ‘Existence Is Futile’ and ‘The Story of Albert Ross’ with me. Then and only then, after his hyphen-addicted eagle eyes have given the text the once over will I decide what I will do with it.
Thankfully distractions are never hard to come by, and I have had plenty lately. I recently received an awesome review from K.S Marsden, author of ‘The Shadow Rises’. I did something I seldom feel compelled to do and wrote a review of a book entitled ‘The Birdman Cycle’ by Thomas Rose-Masters. Additionally, I have seen the first illustrations for my book of ‘new-age’ fairy tales, and am very impressed. And finally I have been helping a certain Senor Elbuho move into his brand new internest. He still has a few things to unpack, but as soon as he is ready I am sure he will post something on Facebook.