#PiSlamistan is Here

In support of #BlackMonday the biggest social protest in the recent history of Poland I am releasing a novelette entitled #PiSlamistan for absolutely bugger all.

To show my solidarity with the thousands of women that are demonstrating for the right to decide the fate of their own bodies I’ve written a short satire with the intention of raising a few very important questions.

Onwards to the unveiling:



#Pislamistan is available in a number of ways:

You can get a number of ebook formats from Smashwords

A PDF from Goodreads

You can read it in your browser on Wattpad 

And download the file directly from FileDropper

*is now available directly from iTunes

Scribd subscribers click here

Nook Readers can get it via Barnes & Noble

If  you happen to like what you read, please share it and help raise awareness of the #CzarnyProtest #BlackProtest

Feel free to tweet me @ScottPoland pictures of yourselves reading this story with the hashtags #CzarnyProtest and #PiSlamistan

The cover image was created in cooperation with the fantastic young Polish photographer Maciek Wojciechowski.  Feel free to tweet him some love @MaciekWojciech  and check out his awesome work at maciekwojciechowski.com/

#CzarnyProtest #BlackProtest #CzarnyPoniedziałek #BlackMonday

My Jewish Communist Croustade

Recently my adopted homeland, Poland, has been in the news for all of the wrong reasons.  It has been distressing to watch a country that I love fall into the hands of the lunatics once again.  If you wish to read a little more about what’s going on in Poland, this is a great place to start: ‘The mutiny of the lemmings’.

Unfortunately, experience has proven that lunacy encourages lunacy.  Despite frequently tweeting bits and bobs about Poland, recently I have somehow found myself the target of Polish trolls. Check out the following example.

The sad fact is that a government which is openly bigoted, antisemitic, homophobic and racist only promotes such behaviors as socially acceptable. It is only further proof of the social regression taking place in Poland.

Now as an outed Communist and Jew, despite never having grown a full beard or worn sandals, or shared a sandwich, or fed the five thousand with the sandwich that I had previously refused to share, I feel like I should do my level best to be the very caricature which the trolls desire.

Therefore, I shall now present you with a poem about the bourgeoisie and Yahweh entitled:

My Jewish Communist Croustade

A tin pot dictator,

Sits atop a demagoguery of hate,

Whilst the secret puppet master,

Throws around his weight,

There ain’t no higher power,

Than this devil in disguise,

That never settled down,

Prefers the company of guys,

Oh in the kingdom of bigots,

A dwarf leads the way,

Where you must watch who your friends are,

And watch what you might say.

Unrequited paranoia,

Is a life in quite a state,

Where there is no discussion,

And there is no debate,

There ain’t no higher court,

This is a terrifying fact,

All the power in this country,

Belongs to one man and his cat.




Goodbye Poland I’m Offski

In around two weeks time I will be packing my life into something transportable and bidding farewell to Poland and its people. After nine long years it feels somewhat unbelievable that I am really leaving. I know what I should be feeling is excitement. I should be looking to the future, spewing clichés about new chapters, rebirths and other such Buddhist nonsense. However I am not, I will be leaving Poland with a heavy heart as Poland has somehow become my home.

I am not for one minute suggesting that Poland is paradise. Far from it in fact. It is a nation so woven with contradictions that I have never openly witnessed such pliable truths. It is a land of harsh winters, cabbage obsession, catholic repression and open xenophobia. It is a land of proud people who aren’t quite proud enough to go the extra mile. It is a land of Christians who  proudly rejoice in their neighbors misfortunes. And it is a land where some of the most repulsive disgusting voices get elevated to public office.

That’s not to say it is all bad either. It is a stunning country gifted with an abundance of geographical treasures. The people are largely hospitable and kind (if there is vodka somewhere nearby). It is a country with an incredible history if you can somehow navigate the minefield of nationalist propaganda which surrounds it. And most of all it is a nation of hopeless optimists and incurable romantics.

Throughout all my years here,there has been one pervasive theme. Frustration. Progress has been incredibly slow , in part caused by the corruptible hand of bureaucracy and most often by sheer incompetence. Very little has actually changed, and those things that have, have been farcical in their execution. Sadly this trend is likely to continue for the foreseeable future.

As I wave farewell to you my dear Polska I have three wishes for you my dear. The first is that your people start taking pride in the beauty you possess and stop desecrating your body because they are too lazy to find a bin. The second wish is that your people recover from their phobias, as in all honesty, nowadays they have nothing to be afraid of. And thirdly that your government takes the vote from the over sixty-fives and closes your churches. Perhaps then, and only then you will be ready to take a great leap forwards.

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