I’ve been quieter than a mouse trying to suppress a fart as it sneaks past a sleeping cat. There are a myriad of uninteresting reasons for that and strangely none of them involve a potato. Alas I am the bearer of some tidings.
For all of you buggers that read eBooks of an electronic variety and are off to lounge around the pool for a week or two sipping cocktails with the sole intention of coming back the colour of the average Essex girl in mid November, you can find practically my entire back catalogue for free throughout July right here on Smashwords. That’s the Non-stop Dancer, PiSlamistan, Mia, All Hallows’ Eve, Existence Is Futile and the Story of Albert Ross absolutely free to your eReaders. If you don’t do eBooks but know somebody who does share this good news. And if you or anyone you know happens to give them a try, please don’t forget to leave a review somewhere or God will quite probably kill a kitten.
In other news, rather unlike me, I have actually been writing. Book number three is well underway and features high commerce, gratuitous sex and mildly depressed fruit. It is quite obviously somewhat a niche market, however, I believe that if the world has a place for dinosaur erotica, I’m going to be just fine. In the meantime, be nice to each other and read books.
As 2016 draws to a close thousands of talented celebrities from around the world will be crossing their fingers in desperate hope that they can hang on for a tiny bit longer. It is irrefutable. 2016 has been a bastard to the famous. Thankfully I am only a Y list celebrity and thus so far have been spared.
I refuse to see the entire year as something all bad. On a personal level it was a year of firsts. I finally visited New York which was just awesome. I threw myself out of an aeroplane without any sensible reason. I appeared on stage for the first time, rather than my customary position in the shadows, and bizarrely people laughed. Not at me either. But with me. I think. Somehow during all of this I learned something important about myself. The greatest of pleasures stem from escaping my own comfort zone.
2016 saw the release of ‘We Are Sorry’, one of the longest running music projects I have worked on. There were music videos to ‘God Doesn’t Love You’ and ‘Walec’. It was both amazing and at the same time a massive relief to finally see it come to fruition as the origins of the project go back a number of years. I believe we made a huge mistake by not calling our first album ‘Greatest Hits’ as it would have saved us from ever having to record another album.
All that is left for me to say to my readers, groupies, and troll army is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Having spend nearly a decade of my life in Poland it has always been somewhat of an ambition of mine to see something I have written be translated into Polish. The fact that it is a novella I wrote in response to something that has been going on in Poland makes this so much sweeter.
This is a very special moment to me. I want to say a massive thank you to my translator who shall remain nameless. Her support means the world to me and I am ecstatic that she was about to find the time for this project.
I want to say a thank you to the myriad of wonderful Poles that I have encountered in my life. I have met many people who were reluctant to read my brain drippings as they lacked confidence in English. Now you have no excuse and nowhere no hide.
I also must say a thank you to my army of volunteer proof readers. Thank you for giving up your time for a great nation. PiSlamistan thanks you, you truly aren’t the #najgorszysort.
The last point I want to raise is the very reason I wrote this story. I want to thank the women of #Poland that made their voices heard when their own government tried to dictate what they could do with their own bodies. You are amazing, and inspiring, and if nothing else I am awestruck. After spending all those years in Poland if I have learned anything, it is that no man, no matter how powerful he thinks he is, can ever win an argument with a Polish woman. This story is dedicated to every one of you Polske Panie.
In support of #BlackMonday the biggest social protest in the recent history of Poland I am releasing a novelette entitled #PiSlamistan for absolutely bugger all.
To show my solidarity with the thousands of women that are demonstrating for the right to decide the fate of their own bodies I’ve written a short satire with the intention of raising a few very important questions.
Onwards to the unveiling:
#Pislamistan is available in a number of ways:
You can get a number of ebook formats from Smashwords
If you happen to like what you read, please share it and help raise awareness of the #CzarnyProtest #BlackProtest
Feel free to tweet me @ScottPoland pictures of yourselves reading this story with the hashtags #CzarnyProtest and #PiSlamistan
The cover image was created in cooperation with the fantastic young Polish photographer Maciek Wojciechowski. Feel free to tweet him some love @MaciekWojciech and check out his awesome work at maciekwojciechowski.com/