Tag: Existence Is Futile

No News Is…

Right, first up I want to let you know that like Lazarus, I have arisen.  Turns out it wasn’t my deathbed after all, it was just my bed.  Therefore it’s safe to say I’m not dead.  However it’s -7 degrees outside, so even if I was dead it’s so fucking cold that I probably wouldn’t notice.  I know what your thinking.  How charmingly British?  First post for ages and he is already talking about the weather.  I’m not.  I’m talking about not being dead, got it?

Not much has happened on the ‘Existence Is Futile’ front, apart from 1,500+ people liking the book’s Facebook page.  Which is pretty awesome.  What would be more awesome is if some of these people bought themselves a copy of my book.  If you’ve already read it, I have something for you to do.  Review it.  The best way to support my book is to share your opinion about it with the world anywhere you can.  If not the story of Professor Henry Tomlinson will never be anything other than a silent and deadly fart trapped in the anus (yes anus) of history.

In other news I have been sidetracked again from editing my other novel.  It is difficult to return to a project which has been put to one side for so long.  Still I hope to pick up the pace after Christmas (bah humbug) and have it ready to send out in spring.  There is a legitimate reason for this delay.  Recently I was offered the chance to embark on an exciting new project in an entirely new and unforeseen direction.  For now I am loath to say more about it, until it is officially completed.  What I can say is that I am sure it will surprise a lot of people.  Incidentally it is not a sex change, I am not learning the bagpipes, and despite what the Russian newspapers say I am not the new prima ballerina in the Bolshoi Ballet.   For now you’ll have to remain patience, I will reveal more here when the time is right.

Reviewers Wanted

One of the hardest things about publishing a book is the waiting.  The waiting begins with the first submission and continues even after you have published it.  It’s an incredibly frustrating process, which is often drawn out by factors which aren’t immediately obvious to any observer.  Therefore at times it requires taking a blind leap of faith every now and then.  Which is what I am trying to do right now.

I know I have sold copies.  I know people are creatures of habit.  It is very hard to persuade someone who has never written a review for any product to do it for my book.  I know in many cases people haven’t even got around to reading my book.  It just sits on the bookshelf naked and vulnerable like a third testicle being examined by a doctor.

The problem, in my case at least, is that I do not have a million dollar marketing budget.  I rely absolutely on word of mouth.  The 21st century upgrade to word of mouth is rating and reviewing on the internet.  If people don’t do it, then ‘Existence Is Futile’ will go by largely ignored.  Therefore I ask each of you that have finished reading my book to take 5 minutes to review it on Amazon or Goodreads or wherever you find the possibility, as it truly is YOUR REVIEWS which can persuade a stranger to read my book.

As Queen Victoria used to say ‘If you don’t ask you don’t get, and if you sit on your hands you may well end up feeling an arse.’  That’s why I have decided to increase my chances of success by giving away 10 ebooks to willing reviewers.  If you want to become one, please send me a message on Goodreads stating your preferred e-book format and method of delivery e.g. Smashwords coupon or email and I will happily oblige.  My only requirement is that you write a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads when you finish.  If you cannot decide whether ‘Existence Is Futile’ is worth your time, why not check what others have said already:

Amazon

Goodreads

And now get on with it!

Busy As A Beaver

Apologies for my lack of posting, but I’m afraid normal life has started to get in the way once more.  I am as busy as a beaver.  Well I’m not really as I haven’t been building any dams lately.  Nor have I ever come to think of it.  Nor am I likely to.  As to tell the truth, I’ll never give a dam.

What I have actually been busy with is a new job.  On top of that I have also started learning to drive.  Between those two pursuits alone, I have very little free time.  And mostly I am spending the little free time I have, grunting and scratching my bottom as opposed to doing anything productive.  Except the blog post I wrote on Redroom.com.

Sadly, at least for the short-term, this is most likely going to be the pattern of my (futile) existence.  And on the subject of existence I would like to thank those of you that have reviewed ‘Existence Is Futile’ on both Amazon and Goodreads.  It’s been a pleasant surprise to receive such positive feedback, and it really means a lot that you guys took the time to share your opinions.  So keep them coming.

Pinteresting, Very Pinteresting

Yesterday I reluctantly signed up for yet another social network.  I have already long past the point of actively being able to remember my own passwords for social platforms, as there are so many that have crashed and burned, and appeared, and disappeared that I can hardly keep count.  So believe me when I say I am absolutely sick of the numerous forms of social media.  The trouble is with a book to promote, they are a necessary evil.

I am now a proud owner of a Pinterest account.  The reason I signed up for Pinterest was not due to any kind of curiosity.  The idea of a social media site where people just share pictures reminded me of someplace else.  Bizarrely, the someplace else in question drove me to it.  The ‘Existence Is Futile’ Facebook page provides me with user statistics showing various demographic data about visitors to the page.  Interestingly, the majority of ‘Likes’ come from women aged between 28-35.  Can you name a social media site where 80% of its users are female and the majority of those are between 23-34?  That’s right, it’s Pinterest.

The concept of Pinterest is straightforward.  As opposed to merely liking something you can pin it to a number of boards.  You can choose the theme of these boards.  You can upload your own pins, or pin things from almost anywhere on the net.  If people like it they will repin it to theirs.  And that’s it.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  Then if it’s so simple how can you use it to try to create something interesting in the name of book.  After all my book has words and not pictures.

After giving it some thought I realised that Pinterest offers me a unique opportunity.  I have used Pinterest to create a mini-tour of the locations which my main character visits.  I have also uploaded a few other bits and pieces which relate to the writing and publishing process, which would have seemed inappropriate via other mediums.  If you have read ‘Existence Is Futile’ already, make sure you take a look as it will provide you with a chance to see where the story took place.  And if if you haven’t read it yet, have a look anyway as it will give you some insights into the plot of the book.

To check out my Pinterest Virtual Tour of ‘Existence Is Futile’ click here
To read more about the demographics behind Pinterest click here

Rock Down To Electric Avenue

It’s great to finally be able to announce that ‘Existence Is Futile’ is now available as an Ebook.  Initially it is available on all Amazon channels including Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com aswell as Smashwords.com.  In the coming weeks it should also become turn up on Barnes & Noble and iTunes.  As soon as I get any news on those fronts I will let you know.

The Ebooks were the last items on my checklist, with their completion it means that I can finally start focusing on other things.  I feel a combination of relief and fear.  Relief that I have finally finished my to do list and fear that ‘Existence Is Futile’ is finally out of my hands.  I wonder if this is what it feels like to leave your child at the school gates on their first day?

I had  another peculiar discovery recently.  My book is available in Japan via Junkudo.co.jp  It’s certainly the record for the furthest from me.  I doubt I will sell a copy there but it amuses me to imagine that somewhere in Tokyo there is someone reading ‘Existence Is Futile’ in a sushi bar and that maybe I will somehow convince them that ninjas exist.  Now that would be something to be proud of.