Jingle Balls

Merry Christmas and that kind of thing.  I hate the end of every year.  The falsified happiness, the expectation that we celebrate the fact that we are all one year closer to death.  It is collective insanity.  A gazelle never turns around to a chasing tiger and offers it a drink so why should we?

The worst thing about Christmas is the music.  The same songs in every shopping centre, supermarket, taxi, television advert and radio station.  The same sentiments, the same words, the same ideas, the same tunes.  Nothing ever changes at Christmas.  It is a tinselled up groundhog day of misery, eating bad food, showing gratitude for things we do not want and being forced to interact with people we do not actually like.

Therefore I would like to propose to you not to partake in the annual misery competition.  Instead, read something awesome.  The kind folks at Amazon are giving away Mourning Morning eBooks from the 25th of December to the 29th.  Set yourself a reminder.  Get yourself a copy.

Thus all that is left for me to say is Jingle Balls and may the Jesus be with you all.

P.S. There is one Christmas song that is worth listening to.  You can find it below.

Mourning Morning Is On Sale

Here it is.  D-Day.  ‘Mourning Morning’ is no longer just mine.  Before I begin my descent into post-publishing depression let me share the details with you.

‘Mourning Morning’ will, at least for the time being, be available exclusively via Amazon.  You can buy a paperback, or for you modern kids, an eBook.  The good news for those of you that are members of Kindle Prime you can now borrow the book for no cost.  It is also enrolled in the Kindle MatchBook scheme which means that if you buy the Paperback you will have the opportunity to buy the eBook at a much reduced rate.

All that is left is for me to share the links:

Buy ‘Mourning Morning’ paperback

Buy ‘Mourning Morning’ for Kindle

And once you’ve read it don’t forget to leave a review on Goodreads..

‘Mourning Morning’ on Goodreads



Watt The Fu…

Recently I have been busier than a rather busy bee.  Between a trip to England for a quite lovely family wedding, and a forthcoming trip to Amsterdam, I have been somewhat snowed under with humdrum normal life stuff which means all else has taken a backseat.  Duller than dishwater, I know.

Whilst I was in England I was talking to people about my different projects and was surprised by how many people haven’t read ‘All Hallows’ Eve’.  When I enquired as to why they are such terrible friends, who clearly deserve some part of painful genital amputation by way of a rusty spoon, I found myself hearing the same defence.  ‘I don’t have an eReader’.  ‘I don’t have a kindle app’.  If I am honest I was shocked to hear that so many people under the age of 35 are technologically hopeless.  The laboured point I am closing in on is the fact that I listened, and I have found a solution.  I have uploaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ to a website called Wattpad where you can read it for free.  You don’t need an account, you don’t need to sign up for anything, you only need to click on this link and get reading.

P.S.  If you do feel like being rather lovely you could log in with Facebook or Twitter and click vote

To find out more about Wattpad click on this link 

Coming Soon…

When my mother suggested that I try to write a costume drama, I don’t think she meant a short story about three men in fancy-dress at a Halloween party.  Therefore I suspect she may not enjoy my new short story, entitled ‘All Hallows’ Eve’.

Recently I realised that I haven’t written anything new in bloody ages, so I decided to commemorate a year since ‘Existence Is Futile’ hit people’s bookshelves by writing a short story to publish and give away for free.  The trouble is, giving away things for free is not that easy anymore.  The likes of Amazon, and Apple do not allow independent writers to publish their work for free.  In fact it massively limits your ability to reach readers.  When I first wrote ‘The Story of Albert Ross’ I had hoped to do the same.  In the end I decided to put it our for the absolute minimum to enable the story to get  the widest possible availability.  This time, I really want to do this as a thank you to all of you wonderful people out there that have volunteered your own time to read something with my name on.  It means a lot, but mostly it means that you are awesome.

To celebrate the forthcoming release of ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ I would like to… drumroll please… present the cover which will be appearing all over the internets very soon All Hallows' Eve

I don’t have a release date yet, so you will have to keep checking back here.  I hope to have a final version uploaded to smashwords.com by the end of the week.  It will be free, although you will need to sign up for an account, if you haven’t already.  And for those of you that haven’t yet picked up ‘Existence Is Futile’, I have some good news.  I have added the first few chapters to the end of this short story as a sample, in the hope that I can yet persuade you to invest in a book  featuring ninjas and absolutely no jokes about toilets.

January Sales

Good news my kindlings, kobos, space-age fruit, or whatever form of electronic device you prefer to read on.  To celebrate the fact that ‘Existence Is Futile’ has passed 2,500 likes on Facebook, I have decided to slash the price of the e-book like I’m Freddy Krueger on  amphetamines.

In the U.S of A and India the price is due to fall below $5 which is cheaper than a … nevermind.  On the beautiful island of Britannica you will be able to buy the e-book for less than half the price of a pack of cigarettes.  Europe is closing on 5 euros which one day will be worth as much money as a single slice of Edam.  In Japan the price will drop below 500 yen.  In Brasil, less than  a bottle of rum.  And in Canada less than a tin of maple syrup.

And if that isn’t enough I am still looking for reviewers on Goodreads.  If you want to become one, you could get the book for free.  Click here for more.

You have so many ways to get my book, it would be a crime not too.  After all it’s January, everyone is staying home and saving money.  So why not stay home with a good book?  And if you cannot find a good book, why not try ‘Existence Is Futile’ 😛