Mosquitos Are The Arseholes Of Satan

Ever had one of those nights when you are hot and sweaty and can’t sleep.  Just when the weight of your eyes become too much and they start to close you hear it.  At first it’s barely perceptible, so you strain your brain and try to focus on the sound. ‘Bbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzz’.  As it dives past you.  It’s dark.  Your partner’s sleeping.  So you resist the urge to try to kill the mosquito.  The trouble is now you know it’s there.  Every twitch, quiver or bead of sweat crawling down your body makes you think that you are being eaten alive.  It’s hard to separate fact from fiction.  You feel something moving on your forehead.  You try to wait to be sure.  It’s too much to bear. ‘SLLAAAPPP’.  ‘What the fuck are you doing?’

The miracles of Mother Nature never cease to amaze me.  The sheer torture which a lone mosquito in your bedroom can create is incredible.  It’s so small and visually harmless that it seems unfeasible that it can create such a night of terror that you wake up feeling like a serial killer.  The optimist inside me hopes that we are all part of an ecosystem.  That we all have a job to do on mother earth.  However it doesn’t matter how deep in my soul I delve I still don’t see the point of the humble fucking mosquito.  In fact I think the world would be a better place without them.  I am certain they are either a mistake of God, or Satan is reincarnating accountants and lawyers as this horrible bloodsucking shits.

When your eyes are open to the trite nature of the universe you find it hard not to see other examples of such pointless biology.  If you buy into this concept of intelligent design ask yourself how intelligent is designing an insect which sucks people’s blood and transmits disease.  It’s not intelligent.  It’s stupid.  Or what about the Blobfish.  Go on google it.  It looks like an arse which has been turned inside out.  How functional is that?  I honestly don’t see a point to it unless you want to induce vomiting in a human.

It’s not just nature world which contains a fair degree of pointlessness its people too.  Why on Earth design a being and give it the knowledge that one day it will die?  You are giving the creature a perfect excuse to be miserable for the rest of its life.  Why give this being a need for systems?  It’s as if it was created to live and die inside a self-created cage.  Why not give this creature freedom?  Probably because we wouldn’t know what to do with it.

I hereby declare war on the humble Mosquito and all its kin.  You are proof that evolution doesn’t work.  Therefore I shall exterminate you for the benefit of mankind.  And then I shall be declared a hero.  And ordinary folk will raise statues in my name.  And then I shall be dead.  Just a name carved in stone.  And that is alright by me.

Everyday Diplomacy

Earlier today I returned to the hospital where I spent a week of life earlier this year for yet another test.  Being unfamiliar with many medical words in Polish, it was yet another reminder of my failings and a reminder of the frustrated helplessness people fell when under the care of someone else.  It is very difficult to put your health in someone elses hands, even more so when there is an obstruction in the shape of a language barrier.  I am blessed to some degree as my Doctor speaks some English.  However there are times when my Polish and his English isn’t enough to enable us to understand each other.

Today was one of those days.  The doctor needed a word in couldn’t find.  It happened to be a word which I did not know.  After the test he walked me out of the room, sat down and uttered the words no patient ever wants to hear.

‘Take a seat.’  He looked nervously at the floor and back to me.

‘No thanks I’d rather stand’ I replied, alarmed by the fact that my Doctor’s discomfort clearly meant one of two things.  Either my Doctor has hemorrhoids or he had some bad news to give me.

‘Really I think you should seat down.’  He looked me in the eye, holding my gaze until I obeyed.  It only confirmed my suspicion.  It was bad news.  Shit I thought, I am going to die.

I am not.  Not even close.  The news was bad, my not anything which is going to affect my life in the short-term.  I complete misread the situation and panicked.  My Doctor’s discomfort which I had observed was actually him searching for this the right word.

It set me thinking about everyday diplomacy.  How many jobs are there where you can unintentionally strike fear into someones heart like that?  There aren’t many which can make people fear for their lives like that.

A Gamblers Soul

I haven’t written much all week as I have been busy helping set up a website for gamblers.  Gambling is very much part of my life, and in many respects impacts my personality.  Gambling has been present in literature for many years whether it be Fyodor or Luke Rhinehart.  It fascinates me as physics can fascinate a scientist.

Growing up in a family meant often being forced to give a concrete opinion.  That required weighing up facts and variables in order to reach the correct conclusion.  As a mental skill assessment and awareness is highly valuable.  Nowadays I live in a culture where gambling is seen as a pastime of the morally defunct.  Which means that my decision-making skills are entirely different from those around me.

One example I have seen many times in non-gambling cultures is the lack of awareness of risk reward.  Say you have an idea for a business.  You arrange a meeting to present your idea to a rich entrepreneur.  In a gamble friendly culture the focus will be very much on the risk reward yield.  Where as in a non-gamble culture the focus is only on the costs incurred.  It means that businesses here tend to invest the bare minimum in any project and the results are visible everywhere you go.

Aside from business there are also personal aspects.  Take something as simple as dating.  A gambler will constantly assess and re-assess the risk reward ratio and consequently be more daring in their approach to romance.  A non gambler will wait until what they consider to be the optimum moment, which could be twenty years.

I am not trying to suggest that either group a or b is better.  If you want to understand exactly what I am getting at try a social experiment.  Next time you go for a coffee somewhere, take a seat and observe the people around you for five minutes.  Then ask yourself what will the next person to enter the cafe look like.  You can even try to brand their phones, guess the colours of their clothing.  When the person finally enters see if you are right.  Then try to work out why exactly you guessed like you did.  There is a small chance you may learn something interesting about yourself.

Reclaiming The Streets

By now anyone and everyone has heard about the bouts of civic disorder which have struck all over England in recent times.  There has been a rash of commentaries on all forms of social media ranging from messages of support to messages declaring the rioters as the rotten dregs of our society.  What has been lacking in all of these critiques is basic impartiality.  What used to be one of the cornerstones of good journalism is now often replaced with fiery rhetoric.  Despite all the media’s claims of a broken divided society what are they doing to help mend it?  Rather than trying to bridge gaps they are trying to widen the cracks even further.  And that doesn’t help anyone.

The spark which fueled the flames was the death of an alleged drug dealer in Tottenham.  The initial protest was an example of people exercising their democratic rights.  For whatever reasons the protest turned violent and the rest they say is history.  The most important fact to remember is that at the beginning it was not a crime  wave.  It was not droves of young gangs on a robbery rampage.  It was a perfectly legal protest which somehow went wrong.

Over the course of a few days the trouble spread to Ponders End, Hackney,Enfield, Croydon and many other areas of London.  It also spread to Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham and Leeds.  The likelihood that Mark Duggan was held in such high esteem in so many of these cities is massively unlikely.  It is more likely that the initial protests were either hijacked or acted as an inspiration to youths up and down the country.  I have a hard time believing that there was a Faganesque character running up and down the country ordering his new aged Oliver Twists to go and steal him twenty-six new pairs of hush puppies from Top Man.  In all honesty it sounds absolutely preposterous.  Fucking ridiculous even.

If there wasn’t a conductor.  If these riots weren’t hijacked.  Then what could be the cause?  The first thing to consider is whether there are any common denominators between these people.  If you look at the news footage it looks as if every rioter was a teenager.  However how easy is it to identify someones age when they are wearing a cap, with a hoodie and a scarf covering the bottom half of their faces.  Do only young people wear sports clothes?  Of course not.  The rioters are of mixed age, of mixed races, of mixed intelligence.   They are a sample of us.  They are representative of our society.  They are what we have created.

The common factors between these places are absolutely clear.  They all contain exceptionally more neighborhood’s where prospects are bleak.  Where there isn’t an abundance of work but there is a high rate of crime.  Most people in this areas will never have the opportunity to go to university.  Many of their parents living in a credit hole in a mere effort to survive.  Many of them will end up in prison.  Or dead.  And all the while they never see the significance of their choices.  We are one of the only nations in the world where unemployed people stroll around with iPhones and Nike trainers.  We give precedence to helping people from other nations before our own.  We sponsor people to have babies and not work when our island is overcrowded as it is.  We have a generation who have grown up knowing that they do not need to work to gain.  And this is where our society fails.

Our country has failed several generations and we are now witnessing its legacy.  The scenes we are witnessing should serve as a wake up call.  I am not supporting the rioters.  Nor am I trying to make excuses.  The destruction caused by these mindless groups is an absolute abomination.  All I am trying to do is highlight the fact that our liberalism is our downfall.  When the flames go out and only the ashes remain, be mindful of the fact that the ashes will always remain as a reminder of what once was.

A New Dawn And A Change Of Venue

I have recently switched my old blog which was literaryfailure.tumblr.com to wordpress.  The decision was taken for several reasons which included pornbots, aesthetics and the sheer coolness of wordpress.  The new dawn won’t bring many changes.  The only noticeable one will be a distinct lack of lemon pictures for the time being.  Other than that it will just be me whining, moaning and using this blog as an excuse to not do what I think I should be doing.  I will leave you with a little Camus.

‘The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.’