I Love Warsaw

I woke up this morning to find that (for the second time in as many months) we have no water.  Being somewhat strategically minded I decided the best course of action was to wait as long as possible before getting ready to leave for work.  Unfortunately we still had no water.  In a panic I ran around the flat in search of mineral water.  I was horrified when I realised that I had less than a fifth of a litre at my disposal.  I had a choice, the likes of which I had never faced before.  Should I wash?  Should I shave?  Should I brush my teeth?  Or should I use it to flush the toilet?  Or should I try to do all four?  Sadly I was only successful in 75 percent of my pursuits.

Unfortunately that’s the price we pay for living in the 19th century, what do you mean it’s the 21st?  I guess you should expect such things in third world countries.What do you mean European Union?  It’s actually pretty typical when you live in a village.  What do you mean Warsaw is the capital of Poland?  Am I being antsy?  Am I merely just angry?  No way, there is plenty to love about Poland.  There just isn’t much to like.  Especially in regards to Warsaw.  In most countries the capital city is the proverbial Cinderella.  Not this city though.

This city where a bus has not run on time since 1637, where there is a shortage of small change in every single shop large or small, where you have to pay to piss in a public toilet, where beggars rarely hide their real intentions, where gay parades were banned as recently as 2005, where history is a matter of convenience rather than truth, where building flats is more important than building homes, where the underground is one straight line, where old ladies in mohair Berets are more intimidating than the youth, where there are more churches than football pitches, where customer service is yet to be invented, where drinking alcohol in public is prohibited.  This Warsaw.  This home.  This ugly sister.

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