It’s Not The Winning……

We are all liars.  Every single one of us.  There is not, nor has there ever been a person cursed with the gift of total honesty.  It is an impossibility.  It is an end result of the competitive nature of our society.  We are continually measuring ourselves against others.  So much so that in the end our intentions often blur into a philosophical wet patch which causes us great discomfort when we are forced to sleep in it.  Rather than continually reassess our beliefs and ideas it is often more comfortable to roll over and ignore the discharge of doubt as if it isn’t there.

The biggest problem for a race of liars is often the raising of ones children.  In an ideal world a parent should introduce a sense of values which they themselves have accumulated over the years.  The child should look upon their parent with awe, both inspired by their wisdom and dazzled by their brilliance.  However we are disregarding a few things here.  First of all we don’t all live in tents in the desert.  Which means that a parent has to compete with the television, with google and with popular culture for the child’s attention, love and respect.  The pressure the lying parent feels to compete against these things is immense.  They often try to distract the child for their own failings with meaningless clichés, meant to soften the blows to their own ego rather than to encourage or motivate their offspring.  None of these statements are more redundant than the following:

It’s not the winning it’s the taking part that counts.

First said by some arsehole somewhere.

The first thing I want to make clear is that there is no truth to it whatsoever.  It is always the winning which matters.  Nothing else does because from the very beginning of our lives to the very end, our lives are infinitely better if we are winners.

Pick a war, any war.  Ask a soldier.  Not winning in something as serious as war often equates with death.  Perhaps it’s an extreme example.  How about in your working life?  There are three people up for promotion.  You are the oldest, with the most experience.  You get interviewed but don’t get the job.  The bigger office, the extra 20 thousand a year, which would have meant you could have got a mortgage on a bigger house  and finally started a family are all gone in the blink of an eye.  However it doesn’t matter, because you took part.  How about love?  The most beautiful girl in your high school.  All the boys want her.  You ask her out.  She laughs in your face and tells everyone in school that you are an idiot.  Of course you don’t feel sad, because you took part.

The problem with propagating lies to children is that they do have an impact in unforeseen ways.  We are in grave danger of producing a society of kids who just don’t give a shit.  Why should they even try to win if it doesn’t matter?  We are sucking the motivation out of them by being overly reassuring.  What’s wrong with trying your best to win and not being good enough?  It’s going to happen often enough in their adult lives that one day they may even thank you for it.

Life is about winning, from the moment it begins until the moment it ends.  Denying it, is like claiming that the sky is green.  If you don’t believe me ask the other 179,999,999 sperm your father ejaculated when you were created.  That’s right you can’t.  Because they didn’t win the greatest lottery of them all.  I am sure if you did ask them they would say ‘It’s not the winning it’s the taking part that counts’.

Winning Or The Modern Day Lack Of

Charlie Sheen is winning.  Manchester United are winning.  America is winning.  President Obama was winning once, not so sure now.  Many countries are winning wars.  Wars on crime, corruption, bureaucracy, waste to name just a few.  People win races.  Space races, arm races, leg races, races to the top, to the white house and to the moon.  If everyone is winning, or is capable of winning something, where on earth are the losers?  Everywhere.

Winning and losing used to be used in specific areas, sport and war.  In the U.K winning at sport is now considered a bad thing.  So much so that many schools do not allow kids to participate in sports where there  is a winner and a loser in fear of psychologically marking the child for life.  It has been conclusively proved by Scientific winners that losing a game of netball at the age of 8 often leads to a life of crack addiction, petty crime and prostitution.  Where as stateside they are the polar opposite.  They do not appreciate any sport which can result in a draw.  There must be a result.  Which is why the average rounders baseball game takes three and a half years on average to complete.

The winning of wars has became somewhat since Vietnam.  In a war, where if you believe America, both sides won(isn’t that called a draw in other realms) has become even more farcical in recent conflicts.  On Friday the 2nd of May 2003 George W.Bush declared that the allies had in fact won the war in Iraq.  What he failed to do was tell anyone else about this development.

It is apparent that just about the whole universe has forgotten what winning actually means.  It doesn’t matter if you pretend it doesn’t happen like us Brits, or that you claim it’s happened already, much like the Yanks you are wrong.  The condition of victory deems that someone must lose.  We have lost sight of the valiant loser. We are so terrified of the word failure we now live in a state where we pretend it doesn’t exist.  The fucked up thing is that we now have a large proportion of people who live there lives trying not to fail rather than trying to live.  Whereas true honour comes from trying, of being able to look yourself in the eye, and being able to say that I gave it my best.