Summer Holidays

I’ve been quieter than a mouse trying to suppress a fart as it sneaks past a sleeping cat.  There are a myriad of uninteresting reasons for that and strangely none of them involve a potato.  Alas I am the bearer of some tidings.

For all of you buggers that read eBooks of an electronic variety and are off to lounge around the pool for a week or two sipping cocktails with the sole intention of coming back the colour of the average Essex girl in mid November, you can find practically my entire back catalogue for free throughout July right here on Smashwords.  That’s the Non-stop Dancer, PiSlamistan, Mia, All Hallows’ Eve, Existence Is Futile and the Story of Albert Ross absolutely free to your eReaders.  If you don’t do eBooks but know somebody who does share this good news.  And if you or anyone you know happens to give them a try, please don’t forget to leave a review somewhere or God will quite probably kill a kitten.

In other news, rather unlike me, I have actually been writing.  Book number three is well underway and features high commerce, gratuitous sex and mildly depressed fruit.  It is quite obviously somewhat a niche market, however, I believe that if the world has a place for dinosaur erotica, I’m going to be just fine.  In the meantime, be nice to each other and read books.

Watt The Fu…

Recently I have been busier than a rather busy bee.  Between a trip to England for a quite lovely family wedding, and a forthcoming trip to Amsterdam, I have been somewhat snowed under with humdrum normal life stuff which means all else has taken a backseat.  Duller than dishwater, I know.

Whilst I was in England I was talking to people about my different projects and was surprised by how many people haven’t read ‘All Hallows’ Eve’.  When I enquired as to why they are such terrible friends, who clearly deserve some part of painful genital amputation by way of a rusty spoon, I found myself hearing the same defence.  ‘I don’t have an eReader’.  ‘I don’t have a kindle app’.  If I am honest I was shocked to hear that so many people under the age of 35 are technologically hopeless.  The laboured point I am closing in on is the fact that I listened, and I have found a solution.  I have uploaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ to a website called Wattpad where you can read it for free.  You don’t need an account, you don’t need to sign up for anything, you only need to click on this link and get reading.

P.S.  If you do feel like being rather lovely you could log in with Facebook or Twitter and click vote

To find out more about Wattpad click on this link 

A Big Thank You

This is just a quick post to thank everyone that has downloaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve‘ from  I am absolutely delighted to announce that we have passed 100 downloads, and in my opinion that calls for a small celebration.

As a thank you to all you lovely people who have downloaded my short story I want to keep my twitter based promise and announce a giveaway.  For the remainder of this weekend I shall be giving my other work away for the grand total of fuck all via  It’s pretty simple if you have already downloaded ‘All Hallows’ Eve‘ for nothing.  Log into Smashwords, add ‘Existence Is Futile‘ and ‘The Story of Albert Ross‘ to your basket.  When you get to the checkout enter the following coupon codes:

To get ‘Existence Is Futile‘ absolutely free enter coupon code ‘YP94P’

To get ‘The Story of Albert Ross‘ for nothing enter coupon code ‘EC23M’

In return I ask one thing and one thing only.  If you enjoy any of the things which I have written please leave a review on their respective pages on, after all it’s your reviews that might persuade people to take a risk on me.

Existence On Air

Recently I received a challenge from a Danish music blogger named Poul (yes, it is really spelled with an O) to come up with a playlist for ‘Existence Is Futile’.  Never one to shirk a challenge unless it involves t-bagging, I bravely accepted.  At first I thought that it would be easy.  After all, I had all the pictures inside my head, all I had to do was to find the music to go with it.  However it wasn’t.  My inner perfectionist come to the surface, and I have spent a considerable length of time over the last five days humming and hawing over which songs best fit the story which once resided inside my head.  Thankfully today I found the elusive twelfth song and have completed the soundtrack to my debut novel.  It may not be everybody’s cup of tea, mainly because the cup would have to be bloody enormous, I can proudly say ‘Existence Is Futile’ has a soundtrack.

To check out which songs I selected and my reasoning for doing so click here to visit Poul Om Musik.

I also want to take this opportunity to remind you that you can also see some pictures of some of the places mentioned in ‘Existence Is Futile’ by going to my pinterest page by clicking here.

The last item on the agenda is a big thank you.  I want to thank all of you that have downloaded my latest short story ‘All Hallows’ Eve’.  The only thing which would make you all even more awesome is if a few more of you lovely lovely people would leave a review on Goodreads and Smashwords.  The story is free, it will always be free and it’s on Smashwords.  If you haven’t downloaded it yet what the bloody hell are you waiting for?  Get it here.

‘All Hallows’ Eve’ Is Now Available

Finally I am both relieved and excited to announce that ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ is now available directly from Smashwords. Just in case you have forgotten what it is all about, check out this short description:

All Hallows' EveHalloween. The one day a year people wear ridiculous outfits, and drink for reasons they don’t understand. Unless they are British. Then they do that every day.

In a trendy London bar, three friends meet up at a fancy-dress party, in appropriately silly clothes for such an occasion. Each of them content to hide their true selves behind their costumes. The trouble is there are some things you can’t hide from. Like fate.

The good news is that Smashwords now offers the story in a wide variety of formats including Epub and mobi, for those of you that have an e-book reader and a PDF for those of you that don’t.  The less good news is that if you don’t have a Smashwords account, you will have to sign up for one.  However don’t panic, it only takes a minute and is incredibly straightforward.

To get ‘All Hallows’ Eve’ click here.

P.S.  Don’t forget to leave a review on Smashwords and Goodreads once you have read it.  And share it with every human being you ever come in contact with!