Category: Current Affairs

S**A P**A A**A And Censorship

Whilst I have been idly traipsing around Europe the world appears to have woken up slightly in regards to the freedom which we don’t have.  It’s apparent that the vast majority of human beings are completely unaware of the censorship which surrounds us.  The catalyst(s) of this knee jerk reaction have been a number of bills which intend to redefine the golden age of technology in which we live, all with absurdist acronyms (my favourite being PIPA – which has more interesting connotations in a number of languages) designed to obscure the view of an ordinary man behind extremely broad legal bullshit.

Since the dawn of organised authority censorship has existed in one way or another.  You only have to look as far as the best-selling book of all time.  For around 1,000 years ordinary people were banned from reading the bible.  From 500  ad to 1500 ad, average Joe was not permitted to read the bible.  And it didn’t stop there.  In 1536 a man named William Tyndale was strangled to death while tied to a stake and then his body was burned for being a heretic.  His crime.  Printing 6,000 copies of the bible in English.  I am not intentionally trying to compare the internet to the bible.  The point I am trying to make is that censorship has always existed in one shape or form.  The problem is that we only notice it when we see it at close range.

In the UK you are not free to write what you want.  If you write erotic fiction which the courts deem as not possessing sufficient literary merit you are liable for prosecution.  Thankfully all judges have to take a mandatory phd in English Literature.  In the UK the censorship of the theatre was only abolished in 1968.  As late as 1977 blasphemy was a criminal offence.  The Terrorism act of 2000 makes it illegal to collect or possess information likely to be of use to a terrorist.  Does that mean Prince William’s Grandmother never tells him where she is going tomorrow?  Is the boy scout who knows that rubbing two sticks together makes a fire a terrorist?  The Terrorism act of 2006 makes it an offence to glorify terrorism.  Unless of course you are making a film about it or standing for government.

It was only ever going to be a matter of time before governments starting glancing nervously at the internet.  For me personally the evil in these bills has nothing to do with piracy or copyright infringement.  The Arab spring has proved why the internet must be protected.  Censorship in so many countries has kept people under control.  The internet has given them freedom.  The internet has been a tool which has enabled people to fight for their own freedom.

I cannot for the life of me understand why a Western democratic government would put their name to any of these bills. When our politicians sent our young men to die in Afghanistan they said it was to bring freedom to the people of Afghanistan.  They said the same when they went to Iraq.  They bombed Libya for the freedom of the people.  It’s apparent that in the world in which we live the way to give people freedom is to kill, bomb and maim.  Our governments talk of the great freedoms we enjoy yet suddenly they want to restrict our freedom of speech.  Only such a grand contradiction could exist freely in the 21st century.  Undoubtedly this blatant dishonesty only serves to make our leaders look like a bunch of (*this comment was deleted by SOPA,PIPA and ACTA.  Instead here is the word FUZZY WUZZY BUNNY RABBITS written in block capitals.)

Censorship is a reaction of the nervous, and I for one cannot think of any reason why our leaders might be…. aside from the three words which they have been blasting at us day and night in a veiled attempt to prepare us for the worst.  I will give you a clue.  It has absolutely nothing to do with a Global Economic Crisis.

And seeing as I have written a post which mentions copyright infringement I best leave you with a quote.  The words in question belong to a Dane who is starting to interest me more and more as time goes by.  His name is Soren Kierkegaard.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.

I Told You He Was Kim Jong il

This week the world has lost one of its most colorful, revered world leaders and most charismatic despots in the shape of Kim Jong il.  I am saddened by the news.  Not because I am a fan of tyrannical style, nor because he was human but because he was an inspiration.  I suppose I better explain myself.

I was fifty something pages through my first novel when I went to Denmark to visit my god-daughter and her family.  I was troubled by the fact that I wasn’t convinced that writing a novel about a fictional dictatorship was a valuable use of a thirty year old man’s time.  It wasn’t only that, there was a plot point to consider.  I did not want to create a dictator based on someone who existed.  I was stretching the boundaries of reality in an attempt to create a leader so unique, that there would be nothing more a reader could do other than believe in him.  Due to the nature of this exercise, I remember feeling as if I was trying to hard to make the reality of my fictional country too distorted when my Danish friend pointed me in the direction of an article about Kim Jong il.  Suffice to say I have not been able to find the very same article.  What I learnt from Kim Jong il if anything was that the shackles of reality only exist to be broken.

There are innumerable legends regarding the life of the great dictator that its near on impossible to separate fact from fiction.  The fact is that it is marvelously simple to write an article about the Great Leader because there is almost always absolutely no way to verify the facts.  Some of the most famous legends include the fact that he is the best golfer in the world, a fashion icon, a miracle birth, that he has never taken a shit, that he owns 20,000 dvds, that he spends half the gdp of North Korea on cognac, that North Korea won the football world cup and most impressive of all is the fact that he could reputably change the weather by altering his moods.  The question which arises is where exactly these rumours come from.

The first thing to consider is the nature of the press.  North Korea is a totalitarian state, which means there is no free press.  Which immediately means that any press reporting is speculative at best.  The second is that what reports there are mainly from dissidents or based more exclusively on translation.  The third thing to consider is that Western media never promote any other way of life than ours.  Therefore they are almost always more likely to print stories to the detriment of any different system.  Which means that we should take each of these stories with a pinch of salt.

Where are the positive stories?  How many North Korean banks have been bailed out during the global recession?  What is the tax rate?  What about the unemployment rate?  Is it not troubling that when you google ‘North Korea unemployment statistics’ the very first website it finds is the one belonging to the Central Intelligence Agency?

The much labored point I am trying to make is that we often take reality for granted.  Life is easiest when we assume that people all over the world live the same way.  When we are confronted by alternative realities rather than examining the ways in which they differ, we prefer to paint them in a barbaric light.  We often read about people being enslaved by various systems, yet we never consider that there has to be others who support the same system.  Is it more mental to believe that a man can live seventy years without defecating or that giving banks more money to stop a recession caused by banks reckless investing can stabilize the global economy?  Among all the smoke and mirrors we rarely catch a glimpse of our true reflections.

The final thought I shall leave you with about the great dictator and leader of North Korea Kim Jong Il is one of the few verifiable facts.  Kim Jong Il was born in Russia.

My Tram Experience

I am a thirty-one year old immigrant.  I have been abused countless times on public transport.  Never once has the abuse been racial as I am a white man living in a predominantly white country.  It’s been xenophobic(kinda) as I have been abused for being Russian and German.  Once it was anti-semitic despite the fact that I am an atheist.  Its been for speaking English, not speaking polish to my English-speaking partner, for reading a book(in English) and countless times for not giving people money or cigarettes.  What it never has been is intelligent.

As most of you can guess I am indirectly linking my own experiences to the infamous racist British lady most will have already seen on you tube.  Without a doubt the video is horrific viewing.  Not because I am white, or because I am British but because I am human.

Despite the social advancements of the last 100 years racism is still evident in even the most progressive societies.  The fact that we are no closer to being rid of it suggests that it’s either here to stay or that we are clueless on how to deal with it.

The wave of public nausea felt upon the release of the publication of this video is a heartening example of civic action.  Social media is a new tool which people are still learning how to utilise.  However people must be wary how quickly martyrs can be made.

It would foolish to imagine that there are not more people like her.  The fact which troubles me far more than this one woman’s crass stupidity is that from the 6.8 million viewers 66k have been compelled to dislike it and 19k have liked it.  That is a ratio of just under one-third.

It is not an army of one.  Nor is it only a problem of the working classes.  We live in an age where our national football team is led by a man completely devoid of moral fibre.  It is a problem which everyone condemns but few confront.  I sincerely hope that this video may serve to spark the flame of idea which can often result in change.

Tackling a problem often requires first identifying it and then dismantling the root cause.  In my opinion it is not caused by poverty or social background but rather by ignorance.  My suggestion would be to not attack them but to shame them.

Some racists believe that racism is a worthwhile belief.  Using it as a label to attack them with is the linguistic equivalent of beating someone with a feather duster.  It’s much better to berate them for their lack of intellect.

Let’s make them famous for their stupidity, let’s ensure that everywhere they go people know just how oblivious to their retardation they are. Let’s enlist social media, let’s start websites like isyourneighbourracist.com with videos and names.  Let’s make sure that these people know that at every waking moment we are watching.  Let’s do something and let’s not stop until the last one has woken up to the fact that it is stupidity which is the biggest danger to our world and not other human beings.

Happy Francsgiving Day

Last week I was invited to a Thanksgiving Day celebration by an American friend.  I had never ever experienced any form of celebration on Thanksgiving so I eagerly accepted the invitation and set my mind to work.

I settled on the flag Americans love most

I am sure the vast majority of people reading this will find it incredibly difficult to believe that I was once described by a close friend as ‘having mastered the art of being irritating’.  As an Englishman abroad it was a fantastic anthropological opportunity.  The only drawback was that I had absolutely no idea what to wear.

After some careful consideration I decided that my attire should be suitably respectable for a day of such stern seriousness.  My contemplations  made several matters abundantly clear.  First and foremost I realised that I knew absolutely bugger all about Thanksgiving Day.  What I did know is this – it has something to do with Pilgrims or Penguins, and people watch American Football games.  So I prepared my lungs to shout touchdown as often as possible and prepared myself to partake in lots of stimulating conversations about the possible extinction of the Galapagos Penguin.

Upon arrival at my friend’s home I realised that hosting a Thanksgiving party is actually a form of masochism on behalf of the host.  The man has a number of tea towels attached to his personage as he rushes around trying to raise the guests cholesterol.  It’s almost like the host gets bonus points if he can make some explode via a Turkey overdose.  For a basic Thanksgiving party for a few friends, its apparent that you require enough food to feed Bangladesh for a fortnight.

Happy Francsgiving

Another valuable lesson I learnt that night, as I became more acquainted with an old friend from Tennessee was that Americans don’t actually give  Swiss Francs to each other on Thanksgiving day, every time I offered them to guests they looked at me as if I was slightly crazy.  Also, I was incredibly disappointed having spent half the day before researching penguins to find that there wasn’t a single person interested in discussing their imminent demise.  In fact the only penguins  people were genuinely interested in talking about was the Pittsburgheon, a breed which I never even came across during my research.

In my opinion if Thanksgiving Day is to survive and perhaps even cross over into different cultures it needs to adapt to an international audience.  Which means the food and alcohol should stay, but perhaps the manner and the reasoning for the celebration should change, after all there is no point having a day which no one understands.  Instead it’s title should change every year, as should the rules, that way Thanksgiving Day will only be celebrated by the most devoted followers.  Therefore next year rather than giving people Thanks, I shall be giving people DVD’s such as Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan and Big.  I am certain that TomHanksgiving day will be an even bigger hit.

It Takes All Saints

The kind of All Saints I prefer

The Solemnity of All Saints day is a day of many aliases including All Saints Day, All Hallows or Hallowmas.  Irrespective of which label you choose to refer to it by, it is arguably one of the most peculiar days in the Christian calendar.

During  seven years living in Poland I have always refused to participate in what at home we refer to as ‘the Day of the Dead’ for a number of reasons.  First and foremost is the fact that I am not a Catholic, therefore I knew I would feel out-of-place.  The second reason is that graveyards are not happy places.  The idea of willfully spending a day traipsing round cemeteries was something which I could never see myself doing as I have never seen any intrinsic value in mourning.

This year was markedly different as for the first time I would have someone I knew to visit.  In my mind I steeled myself for what I perceived to be a difficult day.  All I knew about All Saints day was that this is when Poles visit graveyards to pay respect to the deceased.  That the day itself was at the least traditionally important as well as being some kind of holy day.  I was warned to expect large numbers of people, that the graves would be covered in lighted candles and that the cemeteries in the evening would be a picturesque scene of beauty and tranquility.

How wrong was I?  What I did witness was an industry at large.  People queuing up like Lemmings to purchase candles and flowers.  Whole families meeting beside graves producing improbably larger and larger candles.  The stench of a thousand flowers mixed together with the stench of melting wax only served to unsettle my stomach.  The graves looked more like Mediterranean dining tables than burial sites.  The number of candles and flowers were a grotesque reminder that any semblance of solitude or dignity were nowhere to be seen, the only thing missing were cheap checkered table cloths.  In fact it was more like some kind of social meeting than any attempt at genuine remembrance.

Unsurprisingly when I made my observations audible, I certainly didn’t make any friends.  Poles as people are incredibly defensive of their nation and its traditions, irrespective of how meaningful these traditions actually are.  It was with a growing sense of frustration that I decided to investigate precisely where  this specific tradition comes from.

The typical point for any investigation in the 21st century is very often Wikipedia, which defined All Saints Day as follows:-

‘In Western Christian theology, the day commemorates all those who have attained the beatific vision in Heaven. It is a national holiday in many historically Catholic countries.’

Which means that All Saints Day is not a day traditionally reserved for mourning the dead, rather it is a day for commemorating saints.  In the case of the Catholic church, which incidentally has beautified over 10,000 saints(there is no exact head count)which makes for an extremely busy day for a Catholic.  It is a Holy Day of Obligation which in turn means that traditionalist or not every Catholic should attend a mass on All Saints Day.  All of this information begs the question, why is it that in Poland people associate Hallowmas with a day of remembrance for loved ones?

Oddly enough the tradition of remembering loved ones on the 1st of November can be found in Protestantism, Methodism and Lutheranism.  In the fore mentioned cases it is more directly connected to the belief that all human beings are saints for marginally different reasons.  What makes it stranger is that Poland is among a number of countries which have adapted the meaning of All Saints Day for reasons I have not being able to uncover.

Merriam-Webster defines a tradition as an inherited, established or customary pattern of thought, action or behaviour.  In that respect  All Saints day fits the bill.  The troubling aspect of many a tradition is that often the tradition remains but the meaning fades or changes.  A tradition without meaning is little more than a reflexive knee-jerk to a calendar date, as valuable as Valentines Day or Pancake Day.