On the Topic of #Hejty

The internet is a wondrous thing. Not only has it completely transformed communication but it has managed to shrink geographical proximity to irrelevance. Alas, like all good things it doesn’t come without a health warning.  It takes the human mind approximately 7 seconds to make a judgement or a decision and a further 11.7 seconds to write something unpleasant or abusive.

The strangest thing is that many people feel as if the anonymity offered by the Internet protects them from the human rules that govern our interactions. It doesn’t. All a predilection to attacking people online under the cover of anonymity proves is that you, in fact, are a massive arse.

The fact is that science has proven that it takes a great deal more time to write something unpleasant than to make a judgement based on information. This means that the unpleasant vitriol spewed by many online has nothing to do with human emotion and everything to do with callousness.

There are some things in life that are deserving of our wrath.  Not the person whose perspective or sexuality differs from yours. Nor the person that looks differently.  But for those actions that cause misery and suffering for the assorted creatures that are stuck on our floating rock.

A New Era Has Begun

Welcome, witam, wilkommen, velkommen, welkom, bienvenue, bem-vindo and hello.  As you can see, I have had the decorators in(no sniggering at the back) and redesigned my website.  I sincerely hope you like it and find it much easier to find your way around.  If not, then you really shouldn’t be on the internet.  Or allowed to go outside.  Or to reproduce.

This site represents what I hope will be a significant change.  In the past few months I have learned a great deal about the Henry Tomlinson which lives inside all of us.  I hope to share some of those thoughts with you in the coming weeks.

Alas, today I do not want to talk about tomorrow. I want to talk about today.  For those of you that may have missed it, I, Scott Andrews, am in a Spandau Synthpop band.  It is a story so odd and yet somehow majestic that I will likely save it for a book one day.  Almost a month ago, our first music video was released.  In that time it has clocked over 77,000 views on YouTube.  And, guess what, you lucky bastards can see it below.  Until next time…

 


A Brief Postcard From Tuscany

As I sit here, sipping red wine, occasionally gazing at the rolling Tuscan hills that stretch out before me, it occurs to me that I am lucky.  Not just because I am extremely good-looking, charming and intelligent, but because fortune has at times looked upon me kindly and it is precisely one of those times that I wish to wax lyrically about.

Sometime ago, in the Warsaw winter haze a remarkable number of coincedences happened to happen which involved rock music, an accordion, a joke about breasts, a kidnapping and a poignant argument about the identity of a Jewish ninja.  Fast forward nearly 3 years and a fruit has grown from the tree of silliness.  That fruit goes by the name of IO/YU.  I am loathe to reveal too much about the project so I will leave you with the following suggestion.

To follow the unveiling of this project please follow IO/YU on Facebook by clicking here.

In the meantime feel free to watch the video below which somewhat magnificently explains the quintessence of the project.

In the meantime I am going back to my holiday.  Be nice to each other :)

Mourning Morning Is On Sale

Here it is.  D-Day.  ‘Mourning Morning’ is no longer just mine.  Before I begin my descent into post-publishing depression let me share the details with you.

‘Mourning Morning’ will, at least for the time being, be available exclusively via Amazon.  You can buy a paperback, or for you modern kids, an eBook.  The good news for those of you that are members of Kindle Prime you can now borrow the book for no cost.  It is also enrolled in the Kindle MatchBook scheme which means that if you buy the Paperback you will have the opportunity to buy the eBook at a much reduced rate.

All that is left is for me to share the links:

Buy ‘Mourning Morning’ paperback

Buy ‘Mourning Morning’ for Kindle

And once you’ve read it don’t forget to leave a review on Goodreads..

‘Mourning Morning’ on Goodreads

 

 

A Romantic Gift To You All

It’s hard to believe that this day has come around again.  The one day a year when we express our love for each other in the most crass manner possible.  It is of course the most romantic day of the calendar year, Iraqi Communist Martyrs Day.

To mark a day of such importance and to demonstrate my love for each and every one of you I have decided to give you the literary equivalent of a flash of ankle at a nunnery.  I know, I know.  I am too kind.  Are you ready?  Take a seat, turn the lights down low and prepare to high-five an imaginary me.

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BookCoverImage

I am aware that the cover image contains more sexy than legally permitted in sixty-nine countries on this planet, therefore, I shall give you a moment to compose yourself.

Are you ready?  Let us continue.  It is time for the blurb.  For those of you that don’t know, a blurb is not a french swear word.  Although it probably should be.  A blurb is the description of the book which appears on the back cover.  It usually contains words.  Next to other words.  Here it is, for the first time ever, ladies and gentleman, Mourning Morning.

 

What if time was broken?  Would life continue as normal? Or would everything just stop?

For Norman Coleslaw, a young trainee journalist, a regular bicycle ride propels him into a week like nobody has ever experienced before.  A week free from reality, and the constraints of time.

Norman’s search for truth leads him into the path of great danger, and eventually places him nipple-to-face with the most dangerous man Miranisha has ever known, General Alain de Wilderspin.

Mourning Morning, the second novel from Scott Andrews, takes you on a riotous romp through the kind of absurd landscape which can only occur in a post-modern dictatorship.

And the best news of all, please whatever you do, do NOT explode from happiness – ‘Mourning Morning’ will go on sale next weekend, via Amazon.

I know what you are thinking.  That I have lost track of the true meaning of Iraqi Communist Martyrs Day.  That I don’t really love you, that I just want you to buy my book. Of course I want you to buy my book, but not merely because of a commercial day created to sell themed merchandise and greetings cards to the brainless masses.  I want you to buy the book because it is a good book.  Much like my other one.

Some of you out there in cyberspace may have read my first novel ‘Existence Is Futile’. Recently I had a lovely surprise when the author of the Witch Hunter trilogy, K.S. Marsden, announced her top 20 books on her website ‘The Northern Witch’s Book Blog’.  ‘Existence Is Futile’ is among them.  You can find her top 20 list right here and read her review right here.

The fact is and I have to be honest here, I know what you are thinking.  The dreaded second album.  The sequel. The second series.  You are worried that there is no way it can live up to expectations.  Let me set you straight.  I actually wrote ‘Mourning Morning’ two years before ‘Existence Is Futile’ which means that many of you have already read the dreaded second book.  Mind-blowing isn’t?  It can only mean one thing, ‘Mourning Morning’ must be even better.  Right?

By the way, just in case you missed it, here is thirty-two seconds of cinematic porn.

Have a great weekend :)

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